Automatic Writing on Change
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Change—
I’m willing to change almost daily, but this world wants me to fit in a little box,
confine me, define me,
and I don’t want to be boxed in.
Not right now.
I am as free as a spirit. But I also don’t know where that leaves me, puts me.
“I don’t know…”
THAT is a dark fear.
The not knowing.
The openness to different opportunities that may arise.
I want to be able to take advantage of those, to be open & free. Take me where the wind blows, where the Universe leads.
But this world doesn’t like that very much.
You’re supposed to know. To plan. Make decisions.
That’s what it looks like to be ‘put together’, dependable, smart, a reliable adult, commendable.
I’ve got my act together.
It’s for other people to look at you and think, “She’s OK. She’s got it. She’s making smart, rational decisions. We can leave her alone.”
As soon as you ‘don’t know’ people start to get very uncomfortable. “Why don’t you know? When will you know? Are you going to figure it out? Here’s what you need to do...focus on…”
Not knowing feels weak, irresponsible, irrational, stupid, VULNERABLE, non-trustworthy, lacking drive, vision, knowledge, accountability, authority.
But is it any of those things really?
Or is it just what we are conditioned to think and believe to keep us small, safe, protected ...limited.
It keeps us from elevating, finding our truth, making changes, being leaders, rocking the boat.
Is ‘not knowing’ actually Courageous?
Strong?
Open-minded? Perceptive?
Commendable?
Trusting that a Greater Power has my back—I am safe, protected, loved, cared for.
I can live in ‘I don’t know,’ and yet I know all is well in complete inner peace and confidence.
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Peace,
Anne
